


Days Like These

by Ael_tRlailiiu



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-07-14 21:07:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7190468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ael_tRlailiiu/pseuds/Ael_tRlailiiu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur is having a rough day in the Underworld, and ends up text-haunting Emma about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Days Like These

**3 p.m.**

Oh my god, you would not believe the day I’ve had. A party of TOURISTS from Oz can you believe it, now that they know the cyclones can reach us here. Took hours to find them all and get them on the boat home, and now Charon is complaining about all of this return trip business. Can’t say I blame him.

Who is this?

Arthur. Sorry for your loss last week, but that tinker who died is brilliant! She got the phones fixed, and put in some improvements as well, so I thought I’d say hallo. These buttons are fiddly little things aren’t they.

I think maybe you wanted someone else. This is Emma.

Oh. Sorry! There are some insects in the system, I’m afraid.

You mean bugs.

No, there are bees living in the phone booth. Never used to have those here, I’m told. Must be all the flowers.

**5 p.m.**

So anyway, there was a working lunch with Cruella, if you can imagine that, about how to get the souls out of the river. I can’t say I’m thrilled at the idea of her getting this “Jimmy” fellow back, but fair’s fair, I suppose, there are many who don’t deserve such a fate, so we had a meeting to talk about it. THREE HOURS later, she’s asleep on the table, and the Blind Witch and I were finally able to work out a few ideas for things we might try, once SHE stopped making jokes about cannibalism, which even among the damned I have to say are in poor taste.

This is still Emma.

Terribly sorry.

**7 p.m.**

Huge influx of souls this afternoon from the Enchanted Forest. Seems someone tried to take over DunBroch again. I could have told them how that was going to turn out! Ha. We had to call in extra volunteers to help with the orientation. Half of them are still here and don’t know what their business is yet, and half of THOSE are drunk.

You know what, that sounds terrible. Some of the Lost Boys stole a car and went joyriding this morning, which resulted in a three-dwarf pile-up in town. They also set off Lily, who burned down somebody’s barn before we got her human again. I spent half of my morning chasing actual chickens. Somebody broke into Gold’s shop, we still don’t know what they stole, but when they went into the Rabbit Hole and yelled “you’re all just a pack of cards” the results were pretty damn interesting. Ursula rolled into town an hour ago with some new mermaid liquor she wants us to try, and she took Maleficent, my mom, and Regina bar-hopping with her. I am just waiting for THAT call to come in. Little Robin is teething, and Zelena threatened that the next person who wakes her up when she’s finally down for a nap is going to envy the flying monkeys. So I am also waiting for _that_ call. Killian says hello, by the way.


End file.
